Contranyms are words that have two contrary meanings (for example, “left”, could mean either “departed” or “remaining”). Such words can lead to minor conflicts from time to time, especially between people like me who are both immature and persnickety about language.
Case in point, here is a summary of a passive-aggressive kerfuffle, in which I played a part, during a recent visit to the supermarket.
I was looking to buy some olives with no pits in them. Some of the jars on the shelf were labeled as “pitted olives”, and I found this confusing because “pitted” is a contranym. It could mean “has pits”, or it could mean “pits have been removed”.
I inquired with a helpful worker-lady in the aisle, and she explained in a condescending tone that pitted means “pits removed”. She dismissed my perspective that it could be interpreted either way, and she did not seem to appreciate my pedantic soliloquy on contranyms.
When I finished shopping and approached the checkout, this same woman was now running the cash register and I sensed a palpable undercurrent of "not thrilled to see one another". As she scanned my eggs, we had the following exchange:
Her: Did you check these?
Me: No.
Her: You didn’t check them?
Me: I did not.
She then flipped open the package, revealed a cracked egg, and shot me a look of triumphant told-you-so.
Her: Why don’t you check your eggs?
Me (with conciliatory smile): I’m a bad-ass; I like to live on the edge.
Her (not reconciling): Blank stare
Then we waited in awkward silence for an assistant to bring new eggs to the front. As she packed the replacement eggs into my bag, we had one final exchange:
Her: You should check your eggs next time.
Me: Pitted could also mean “has pits”.
