The Holden Spangler Effect

No one has really ever figured out a formula for happiness, but it has certainly been one of the most researched subjects in the history of civilized man. The evidence suggests that, among happy people, kindness, empathy, and goodwill toward others are all prevalent traits. Incidentally, wealth and fame correlate poorly with happiness.

Despite this evidence, recent generations of American parents, who presumably want their children to be happy, seem to commonly emphasize other areas of focus in their children’s development. Achievement, be it through academics, athletics, or some other pursuit, is the goal that I see most prominently encouraged. It seems as though at times, we mistakenly steer toward “success” as a less direct, but more appealing path to happiness.

Last week, my son graduated from middle school and, due to social distancing guidelines, the graduation festivities were partially virtual. The electronic portion of the event included a slide show honoring top academic performers, which is perfectly appropriate and earns my full support and respect. After all, academic rigor includes commitment, discipline, and self-discovery of one’s individual learning approach. Reinforcing and rewarding scholarship is a good thing.

However, I was more pleased that the school also gave an award to the student who most demonstrated kindness, empathy, and goodwill toward others. It is a stand-alone award named for Holden Spangler, an exceptionally kind-hearted boy who passed away before graduating from the same middle school. The award recognizes aspects of individual character that are less commonly touted, but perhaps more important in the pursuit of a happy, fulfilling life.

I am grateful to the Marco Forster Middle School for reinforcing the importance of empathy, and I am grateful to Holden Spangler for living a beautiful life. May his legacy of kindness continue to inspire goodwill toward others.