Such success may be more likely if they cultivate a certain set of character traits and develop some specific skills. Among the most valuable of these traits and skills are managing conflicts, overcoming challenges, and persevering through unfair and unfortunate circumstances. Youth sports participation provides an excellent vehicle for developing these skills in an environment where mistakes are minimally punitive and relatively short lived. However, because the immediate stakes of winning and losing seem tremendously important to our children in real time, lessons learned during youth sports competition can become deeply ingrained.
As parents, we recognize that the win-loss record of a middle-school soccer team is insignificant in the long term. So, in this relatively trivial environment, our children can learn and grow as they encounter challenges related to teamwork, discipline, confidence, commitment, and sportsmanship. Over the course of an entire season (or an entire childhood), they will encounter recurring challenges and learn to manage and/or triumph over many. They can develop new skills and problem-solving approaches while gaining perspective about the value of one-off results compared to prolonged efforts to improve. Youth sports provide one of those rare circumstances in life with indelible upsides and ephemeral downsides.
Surely, it is more fun to be the best player on the best team, but in the long run, there are valuable lessons on the other side of that equation. One can only learn to win with grace by winning, but one can only learn to lose with dignity by losing. These are two invaluable pillars of strong character.
Furthermore, an athlete playing a team sport must learn to navigate between the natural desire to maximize individual performance, and the less evident benefits of playing a small role that contributes meaningfully to a larger team goal. This perspective can shape behavior in a manner that is well aligned with long-term success. Also, discovering subtle but important ways to succeed when your skills are not obviously matched to the task at hand can be one of the most gratifying and confidence-building experiences a child ever enjoys.
All in all, I can think of no deeper disservice that a parent can do to a child than to send them off into the world having never faced or resolved a meaningful, personal challenge. A bungled play, a lopsided loss, or a winless season is not a fun experience, but it is a valuable experience. Youth sports participation provides a low-risk classroom for effectively learning some of life’s most portable lessons.
