Showing posts with label Spam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spam. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

10 Things You Hate but I Like

To diffuse my growing reputation as an “angry old man”, I have decided to counter balance my litany of complaint-based posts with this cheery entry about things I like that you imaginary readers probably hate. Here goes:

1. High Gas Prices: Anything that curbs the national habit of excessive driving is probably good.
2. Rain: It cleans the earth, sounds great on the roof, and makes grass smell good.
3. Spam: I automatically direct it into a folder and then sort by topic every month or so. A quick glance reveals a clear pattern of activity and an instant read on social trends.
4. Pizza with No Cheese: I started eating it this way as an act of solidarity with my lactose intolerant offspring; now I prefer it (and my cholesterol is down).
5. Commuting: It's a perfect break between the pressure of the office and the pressure of home. Just listen to the news, drive courteously, and relax for 30 minutes.
6. Can't Get Super Bowl Tickets: I wouldn't go if you gave me the best seats for free. Can't imagine enjoying the frenzied crowds and would not want to miss seeing it on TV.
7. Telemarketers: I know how much rejection they face every day and I can’t help but feel for them.
8. A Tall Glass of Warm Water: Ice is too cold, prefer my water warm.
9. Television Commercials: What can I say; I find them amusing.
10. Barry Bonds: This is probably just my contrarian nature. If he was treated fairly in the media, I probably wouldn't like him either. But I do. And you don't.