Contributed by Auggie
Tolerant health nut
Welcome to this weeks edition of “things that annoy me, but shouldn’t”. My day started like any other and probably would have ended like any other if I hadn’t looked at the calendar and realized it was only January 28th. Realizing I still had at least 3 days to honor my New Year’s resolutions I set off for the local health club where I am now a proud member.
About 2/3 of the way through my awesome workout (or as I like to call it, the “20 minute mark”), I became aware of strange noises that I deduced could only be the sound of a Siamese cat with its tail stuck in the vertical seated ISO chest press machine. However, having recently signed my membership papers I vividly recalled that cats were not allowed to join, so there had to be another explanation. My bewilderment vanished a moment later when a headphone-wearing brute strolled by obliviously singing in his best Robert Plant voice. A new form of bewilderment took over as I silently pondered the question “this still happens?” We’ve all heard the oblivious head-phone wearing singers at one time or another but I didn’t think it still happened in the 21st century. I mean, headphones became a permanent part of our social fabric . . . what, twenty years ago? To me, that is an acceptable adjustment period for the masses to realize this simple fact: when you pipe 105 decibels directly into your temporal lobe, YOU can’t hear your voice but OTHERS can.
This continued on for another several minutes until I thought it was time to alert him to his annoying behavior. So I hopped off my spinning machine and sauntered over to where he was preparing to bench press (or whatever it’s called when you lie on your back and lift weights). I had rehearsed my line: “hey Sparky, appreciate the free concert but if you’re looking for the redneck idol auditions I think they’re in Little Rock this year”. I patiently waited as he loaded the last of his 400 lbs on the bar when my other resolution suddenly popped into my head: tolerance of others. Hey, there’s enough room in the world for us all to live happily isn’t there? Tolerance is a liberating and healthy virtue that I would recommend to everyone. In fact, I might even make this a permanent resolution.