Sunday, June 21, 2009

Remarkable Things I Accomplished in College

Fogler Library at the University of Maine. I building I heard about often during my four years there.

It is that graduation time of year and my thoughts have been with those leaving high school and heading for college and with those whose college lives are winding down. As such, I have also been reflecting on my own college years and I have compiled this partial list of remarkable things I accomplished during four years at the University of Maine.

1. I fell down three flights of stairs at Sigma Nu without spilling a drop of my beer. I guess I may have spilled a drop but I recall being surrounded by witnesses at the foot of the staircase who all marveled at my full cup.

2. On a regular basis, I found a way to oversleep my 1pm classes. I finally stopped signing up for such early commitments.

3. Once, late at night, when it seemed very important to enhance a budding romantic encounter, I managed to open a bottle of wine with a paper clip.

4. In my greatest basketball shot ever, I crushed a bottle cap in my fingers and then flipped it directly into a long-neck bottle of Budweiser held by an astonished freshman on the other side of my dorm room.

5. Set my personal record for continuous hours of sleep with a 21 hour bout from 6pm until 3pm. This particular feat was impressive because I was neither ill nor hung-over (just tired) and I accomplished it on the sofa of my dorm room with the door open amid high pedestrian traffic.

6. Climbed to the top of an icy spire on Alfond Arena and got back down without dying.

7. Given that I made the Dean's List in my final semester while completing seven classes, working full-time as a Resident Assistant, working part-time in the cafeteria, and finishing a marketing internship at a local business, it is remarkable that, in my first semester, I had no jobs, took only four classes, and still managed to fail one of them (despite acing the first exam).

8. Reading back over the list, I must add "got a degree" as, in hindsight, given my lack of maturity, it does now seem remarkable that I met the academic requirements and graduated on time.


  1. Anonymous6/22/2009

    RE: #7 and your failed course, I remember well getting a 29 on test #2, only to be bested by you yelling "beat ya!" slapping my test and proudly sharing your 30. But like the tortoise vs. the hare, I plodded along and pulled a D for the course, easily surpassing you in the long run.
    I'm still bitter at that test and that professor. We were overmatched by our peers high school education, our 8 am class time, and the way we were taught. I think we both "lined it out" by retaking that course to much success.
    Re: Sigma NU, I hope one of your imaginary readers was a witness. Me thinks that stairway has grown over the years. Probably a porch and you landed on your feet. JD..

  2. Jeff Ryer6/23/2009

    Once, I ............
    Sorry, can't tell you. Not sure what the Statute of Limitations is in Maine, and for the off chance that my children may actually want to attend UMO.

  3. Hey Jeff Ryer, Didn't I see you driving your dad's truck across the UMaine baseball field in the wee hours one morning?

  4. Jeff Ryer6/25/2009

    Your word "see" would imply that you watched or happened to notice. As opposed to maybe participating in that activity. But whichever it is, I have no idea what you are talking about and if I did i certainly would not post it on a blog as popular as this one.....