I don't know what stereotypical bias I harbor against Met's fans but, in my mind, this story could only happen to one of them. Maybe a Phillies fan, maybe....but probably not.
So the Met's were about midway through last night's loss to the Braves when one of their faithful followers wandered into the restroom outside of section 338 and promptly, inexplicably, lost a gold tooth into the latrine. Reflecting on the sizable investment she had undoubtedly made in her shiny symbol of material success, she immediately decided to go in after it.
Yes, public restrooms tend to be filthy and high volume joints like those at sports stadiums must be near the top of the list in that regard. But a gold tooth is a gold tooth and if your peeps expect you to rock a grill full of bling, you can't show up in section 338 looking like Michael Strahan all of a sudden. She had to get it out. That's when the story got good.
As you may have guessed, she got her hand stuck down in there and wound up spending a couple of hours sitting in slime with the toilet flushing on her arm the entire time. Plumbers were called to the scene and had to disassemble the toilet to set her free.
Apparently, the crowd following the toilet-tooth incident rivaled the crowd following the game. The tooth was never recovered. Go Met's.