Friday, August 28, 2009

Automatic Sprinklers

I am thankful for all that is good in my life. Absent from my long list of blessings is automatic sprinklers. To be clear, I have an automatic sprinkler system, I am just not thankful for it. In fact, I hate it.

By all indications, it hates me back.

If you live in a cookie-cutter suburb like me, you probably have a home owners association dictating how your yard must look. In mine, we are required to have a patch of grass on the tiny portion of the lot not covered by our homes. Since grass is not native to this area and cannot survive here without artificial life support, we all have automatic sprinkler systems to keep our patch of grass alive and keep the home owners association off our backs.

The only problem with this ridiculous plan is that all automatic sprinkler systems have apparently been engineered to malfunction on a regular basis. Water too little, your patch of grass changes color and the neighbor's lawyers start calling because the unsightly appearance of your home is hurting the resell value of theirs. Water too much and you not only flood the neighbors yard but violate the town conservation ordinance.

How about this idea? If you live in an arid climate, just get used to having a house surrounded by dirt? Would that be such a calamity?

Want grass? Live some place where it rains now and then.


  1. Boo Hoo8/30/2009

    An automatic sprinkler for that 10' X 10' patch ofgrass you have. You must be kidding me. Plant a cactus and go to the beach. You Orange County people should have a TV show. Oh that's right you have several.......

  2. Anonymous8/31/2009

    Isn't California supposed to progressive? In AZ-- many of the houses have "arid" landscapes--not sure what your problem is in that part of the nation. Probably just your neighborhood-- probably can't put an appliance on the front porch either.. JD